Sticking a fork in it

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that all relationships are unbalanced. Someone always loves more, the other less.  

Well, at least in my life. 

In a two-person relationship, it’s usually easy to identify which way the seesaw tips. There’s almost always a clear leader and follower, a top dog and underdog.  When the structure expands to three or more, the dynamic is harder to decipher.

I’m having one of those days when I feel like I care a lot more than my colleagues and collaborators.  I feel like I am putting out a lot more than I get back.  

Don’t you love the phrase “put out”? It sums it all up, right? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

I’m being taken for granted and I don’t like it.

I can’t control how other people treat me.  I can only control my reaction to their treatment.  I’d love to confront certain people and call them on their shit in no uncertain terms. Unfortunately, my experience with these particular people convinces me that “they can’t handle the truth.” The truth will only drive them further away.

The only prescription seems to be: Care less.  Step back.  Play hard to get.

That game can easily become an arms race towards indifference.  Everyone keeps taking one-giant-step-back until we are no longer on the same playing field.  So be it. I am fed up with- -the only word that comes to mind is “injustice.”   I give more than I receive and it ain’t fair. 

Of course, mama never said that life was fair, did she?  But, she also didn’t raise me to roll over and play dead. I’m nobody’s doormat.  I’m angry at the people who take advantage of my good nature. My options are to, a) step way back from these relationships, or b) call my tormentors on their shit and let the chips fall where they may.   

Stepping back and/or speaking up will imperil these relationships. Is it worth the risk? If all that is at risk is their indifference and contempt, then the answer is yes.