What Do You Allow?

There's a new meme floating around the ol' interweb today:

"What you allow is what will continue."

That one hit me right in the gut. Every once in awhile, a single sentence sums it all up.

I've been struggling with a sad fact: there are people whom I value and cherish but who do not value or cherish me in return. As much as I want to be loved by everyone, I'm not; shocking I know.

There's no shame and no blame here. They are entitled to their opinion. They have a right to feel their own feelings. The problem is, I keep hanging around, hoping to somehow change their minds and hearts. I allow them to treat me with indifference, avoidance, coldness, disrespect and keep coming back for more. In my sick, twisted head, I refuse to acknowledge the plain truth: the friendship is over.

And then I wonder why I walk away from every interaction feeling like shit. 

Oh my god,  I just realized that I'm acting like Helena in Midsummer:

"I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius, the more you beat me, I will fawn on you. Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me; only give me leave, unworthy as I am, to follow you. What worser place can I beg in your love,— and yet a place of high respect with me,— than to be used as you use your dog?"

I've always despised Helena.

This one is one me, kids. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. Am I that desperate for approval? For affection? Why can't I just walk away let these relationships die a natural death?

Time to let it go. As George Harrison said, all things must pass.

All things must pass.  It's past time for me to put my energy into the people who last. I'm lucky to have them and I take them for granted.