Blood Moon

To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.  Federico Garcia Lorca

Credit to astrology.com for the Lorca quote in relation to tonight's so-called "Blood Moon," the second in a series of four lunar eclipses that will occur over the course of two years, a so-called tetrad. Eclipses, the mediums and intuitives tell me, are an end and a beginning. Something comes a hard stop, something else begins. 

Which can pretty much be said of any waking day, right?  How can a woman who is so utterly skeptical read astrology columns and throw the tarot? Call it my charming contradictions.

A few weeks ago, I fell hard right in the middle of Main Street, bloodied my knees and palms, tore my pants and injured my back. I didn't feel the back injury until the next day, but haven't stopped feeling it since.  After two trips to the chiropractor, one trip to the massage therapist and innumerable sessions of heat and ice, it is not getting better. I made a pact to exercise every day in October, but the back injury has confined me to walking.  Calisthenics and core exercises seem to make the injury worse.   Stretching helps some, but can also exacerbate the problem.  

There's only one other way to skin this rabbit. It's time to close the door on bad habits that contribute to ill health, time to open the door to a healthier relationship with food.  In truth, I'm not looking forward to it. I'd so much rather read, write, play music, watch movies and generally sloth about like a slug. I plug into music and take a brisk walk for about an hour every day, but it's not enough.  If the back injury prevents me from exercising more, then my alternatives are to eat less or blow up like a balloon.  

Diet - - shudder.  I hate to even say the word.  If I choose to commit to a program, I have to go all in wholeheartedly, without skepticism or second guessing.  I have to believe I can see it through, believe it will work, believe I can make positive, permanent change.  Belief is the hardest part.